The marathon is tomorrow. How do I feel, not really excited. I'm a bit sick and even though I haven't run since last Monday I had a weird spasm in my left calf around 6am this morning. I started moving to Taipei today and Taiwan just got hit with a wave of cold weather.
The jersey is nice, I love Taipei. I'm exhausted, though. At check in I was pumped, I remembered what it felt like to see the guys your going to race against. My instincts and desire for victory momentarily took over. But I'm not that excited now, I've been in a lot of races before. I'm just hoping to get through things with killing myself, really.
I mean when I'm out there the opinion will change. My racing instincts will kick in and I'll have to do my best to control my pace. Hopefully the weather's good and the race goes well. Hopefully I'll have something nice to share with you after the race tomorrow.
2009年12月19日 星期六
2009年12月13日 星期日
A weekend of weird encounters
I live a pretty ordinary life. My interests are running, Tennis, Kung Fu and culture. I don't spend lots of time out at night. Perhaps that's what makes this weekend so interesting.
On Saturday I went to Taichung to buy some clothes. I went to this shop in the night market, near the Taichung boys high school. The guy working was very helpful, although he came off as super gay. So when he was friendly and telling me what looked good on me, well it was a little uncomfortable, but not too bad. I found a great jacket, hand made in Japan and everything. But I had already bought a couple shirts and another jacket so I was out of $$. I resigned to come back the next day.
On my way home I decided to take a cab to get me the one mile back to the train station. I had a date to get to at 6 and did not want to be late. The cab driver asked me where I was going and volunteered to take me the whole way for $500NT. No way man too expensive. I got the price down to $420, and by that time he had already changed his route. More expensive than the train, but worth it if I wasn't going to be late.
So we talked, obviously in Chinese. The conversation came to women and he spent some time telling me how the women here, Taiwanese girls, really, really like US guys, especially the ones like me: so young and able to speak Chinese. He tells me about how he overheard his daughter talking with her friends about exactly this.
Later on he asks for my number, saying he'll introduce me to some girls and then I can give him a red envelope. Red envelopes are traditional Chinese gifts given out at New Year's time: they contain money. Sometimes a lot of money. He says yea, I'll introduce you to some pretty girls and if you get married you can send me a red envelope, you know what I mean? Of course, yea, I know what a red envelope is.
I get out of the cab, after he gives me his phone number, I go to meet my friend. I tell her about my weird encounter - she reveals the cab drivers true identity: a pimp. OH MAN! I did not see that coming. Maybe you did, but come on, this is my second language and Chinese always ask strangers questions about girlfriends and marriage, so the conversation was quite natural. Then the hints he was dropping, I mistook them for questions testing my knowledge of the culture. Incredibly naive, I admit, but now wiser for the experience.
The weekend was not over yet. I returned to Taichung to pick up my jacket the next day. On the way in two guys approached me asking about who I was and if I liked to go out to bars and clubs in Taichung. Then asking for my contact info, hoping to take me out sometime. They didn't look gay, but I have two guesses: they are either into me, or they want to take me to a club and use me to attract women. Why else would two random dudes come up and try to make friends like that? Seems odd to me.
Back at the store the same guy was working, "帥哥" (Shuai Ge) - Handsome Brother, he announced with enthusiasm. He was busy helping out three Taiwanese guys shopping around. He engaged me in friendly conversation, a bit on the over friendly/ enthusiastic side. The Taiwanese guys all laugh.. "like look at the gay dude hit on the foreigner, oh man." ~Awkward~ It gets better, kind of. I pick up the coat and try it on again, nice fit. Okay, lets buy it. But the guy wants to get my photo taken first to post it on the website, oh man. He says he's going to put it on the home page if I don't mind. I'm flattered, but feeling a bit awkward.
I guess I should be flattered, right. But it's awkward to be hit on, or just think you're being hit on by guys. I mean, it'd be nice if women were just coming up to me and asking for my MSN/ phone number all the time. I guess that does happen on occasion, but this weekend was somehow off.
On Saturday I went to Taichung to buy some clothes. I went to this shop in the night market, near the Taichung boys high school. The guy working was very helpful, although he came off as super gay. So when he was friendly and telling me what looked good on me, well it was a little uncomfortable, but not too bad. I found a great jacket, hand made in Japan and everything. But I had already bought a couple shirts and another jacket so I was out of $$. I resigned to come back the next day.
On my way home I decided to take a cab to get me the one mile back to the train station. I had a date to get to at 6 and did not want to be late. The cab driver asked me where I was going and volunteered to take me the whole way for $500NT. No way man too expensive. I got the price down to $420, and by that time he had already changed his route. More expensive than the train, but worth it if I wasn't going to be late.
So we talked, obviously in Chinese. The conversation came to women and he spent some time telling me how the women here, Taiwanese girls, really, really like US guys, especially the ones like me: so young and able to speak Chinese. He tells me about how he overheard his daughter talking with her friends about exactly this.
Later on he asks for my number, saying he'll introduce me to some girls and then I can give him a red envelope. Red envelopes are traditional Chinese gifts given out at New Year's time: they contain money. Sometimes a lot of money. He says yea, I'll introduce you to some pretty girls and if you get married you can send me a red envelope, you know what I mean? Of course, yea, I know what a red envelope is.
I get out of the cab, after he gives me his phone number, I go to meet my friend. I tell her about my weird encounter - she reveals the cab drivers true identity: a pimp. OH MAN! I did not see that coming. Maybe you did, but come on, this is my second language and Chinese always ask strangers questions about girlfriends and marriage, so the conversation was quite natural. Then the hints he was dropping, I mistook them for questions testing my knowledge of the culture. Incredibly naive, I admit, but now wiser for the experience.
The weekend was not over yet. I returned to Taichung to pick up my jacket the next day. On the way in two guys approached me asking about who I was and if I liked to go out to bars and clubs in Taichung. Then asking for my contact info, hoping to take me out sometime. They didn't look gay, but I have two guesses: they are either into me, or they want to take me to a club and use me to attract women. Why else would two random dudes come up and try to make friends like that? Seems odd to me.
Back at the store the same guy was working, "帥哥" (Shuai Ge) - Handsome Brother, he announced with enthusiasm. He was busy helping out three Taiwanese guys shopping around. He engaged me in friendly conversation, a bit on the over friendly/ enthusiastic side. The Taiwanese guys all laugh.. "like look at the gay dude hit on the foreigner, oh man." ~Awkward~ It gets better, kind of. I pick up the coat and try it on again, nice fit. Okay, lets buy it. But the guy wants to get my photo taken first to post it on the website, oh man. He says he's going to put it on the home page if I don't mind. I'm flattered, but feeling a bit awkward.
I guess I should be flattered, right. But it's awkward to be hit on, or just think you're being hit on by guys. I mean, it'd be nice if women were just coming up to me and asking for my MSN/ phone number all the time. I guess that does happen on occasion, but this weekend was somehow off.
2009年12月10日 星期四
The Outsiders
Ethnicity cannot be changed. To study a foreign culture one must assume a role in the community and fully submerge. However, one can never become a true member of that culture, despite being able to put on a different skin, they cannot change their blood, their ethnicity and their own personal past. Despite these physical barriers, these outsiders are the most qualified to study the local culture, more so than those that make up and live the culture themselves.
Once immersed in a foreign culture the outsider learns not about his new environment, but about his original culture. “One cannot see the forest for the trees,” and this is the first time he has been taken out of the forest that is his culture. From this new perspective he is able to see and understand his way of life for the first time, not just bits and pieces, but the whole picture. At the same time he is immersed in a new culture giving him a comparison, but also forcing him to question the meanings behind various cultural differences. Experiencing a new culture enables the outsider to view how different cultures use different methods for interpreting the basics of human nature that we all feel. He is no longer just learning about the two cultures, but also about the underlying nature of humanity as a whole.
After immersion the outsider realizes the truths of their own culture they were previously blind to. They have learned how to learn about cultures in general and are qualified to study their new environment. They are able to see from a far enough perspective that they can get the whole picture. At the same time they can immerse themselves in it and dive in to analyze it firsthand. So the outsider has the unique ability to view the forest from afar, but also dive in and take a close look at the trees. Conversely the locals are limited to their “tree perspective.” The same people who believe a foreigner is incapable of understanding or fully appreciating their culture. Blinded by their own sense of pride, they are unable to understand their own culture and thus their own individual identities.
The outsider has to face many obstacles in the study of a foreign culture. Immersion is not enough. The frustrations associated with cultural differences must be conquered, the language must be learned and every aspect of the culture must be lived. May things are impossible to experience: I can never be a high school student in Taiwan. I can, however, teach English to children in Taiwan and study their experiences second hand. For many aspects of culture and life, second hand experiences are the best one can hope for. Full knowledge and understanding will require years of experience and immersion in the culture, approaching the learning process with an open mind and learning from the full range of people and classes in the culture. The culture needs to be studied on the personal and intimate level as well as the general and impersonal level: looking at the specifics of relationships and how they change with each generation, but also looking at the social norms and public behavior.
The outsider has to face many disadvantages when studying a new culture but by being an outsider they are in the ideal position for learning. After overcoming the initial obstacles they are able to learn not only about their new culture but also about their native one. Most importantly they gain an understanding for human nature common to all cultures of the world.
Once immersed in a foreign culture the outsider learns not about his new environment, but about his original culture. “One cannot see the forest for the trees,” and this is the first time he has been taken out of the forest that is his culture. From this new perspective he is able to see and understand his way of life for the first time, not just bits and pieces, but the whole picture. At the same time he is immersed in a new culture giving him a comparison, but also forcing him to question the meanings behind various cultural differences. Experiencing a new culture enables the outsider to view how different cultures use different methods for interpreting the basics of human nature that we all feel. He is no longer just learning about the two cultures, but also about the underlying nature of humanity as a whole.
After immersion the outsider realizes the truths of their own culture they were previously blind to. They have learned how to learn about cultures in general and are qualified to study their new environment. They are able to see from a far enough perspective that they can get the whole picture. At the same time they can immerse themselves in it and dive in to analyze it firsthand. So the outsider has the unique ability to view the forest from afar, but also dive in and take a close look at the trees. Conversely the locals are limited to their “tree perspective.” The same people who believe a foreigner is incapable of understanding or fully appreciating their culture. Blinded by their own sense of pride, they are unable to understand their own culture and thus their own individual identities.
The outsider has to face many obstacles in the study of a foreign culture. Immersion is not enough. The frustrations associated with cultural differences must be conquered, the language must be learned and every aspect of the culture must be lived. May things are impossible to experience: I can never be a high school student in Taiwan. I can, however, teach English to children in Taiwan and study their experiences second hand. For many aspects of culture and life, second hand experiences are the best one can hope for. Full knowledge and understanding will require years of experience and immersion in the culture, approaching the learning process with an open mind and learning from the full range of people and classes in the culture. The culture needs to be studied on the personal and intimate level as well as the general and impersonal level: looking at the specifics of relationships and how they change with each generation, but also looking at the social norms and public behavior.
The outsider has to face many disadvantages when studying a new culture but by being an outsider they are in the ideal position for learning. After overcoming the initial obstacles they are able to learn not only about their new culture but also about their native one. Most importantly they gain an understanding for human nature common to all cultures of the world.
2009年12月7日 星期一
Ignorance equals bliss: Education equals isolation
Isn't it true that the more ignorant of the world we are the happier we are in it? It's easy to just go with the flow and live a care free life.
Conversely education, some of the things I value learning most in my life, have led to isolation from my peers.
The first time I had this experience was after I decided to become a runner. I put more energy and passion into running than I saw anyone else put in towards their endeavors. What it taught me was the values of hard work and long term commitment: the meaning of living for the purpose of achieving your goal. I made it my life for over four years. I also failed; I lost races I should have won. I know what it feels like to work for four years, pouring you heart and soul into something, and then fail. I also know how to stand back up and win the next time around.
Conversely I would see other runners. Perhaps they would set a goal halfway through one season, and after a month of focusing on this goal, with wavering ambition, fail. They'd be heartbroken. Are you kidding me? After putting in so little effort, how can you be so emotional? If your goals meant so much to you then you should have worked harder.
In the end I was left with a strong sense of dedication and ambition. The majority of people lack this much resolve, and so I am left, even to this day, feeling a bit segregated from them, as if they can't really understand or fully appreciate these values.
Going to college furthered my education and thus my isolation. Not only did I learn about the technical world of mechanical engineering, but I was exposed to city life in a bright and culturally diverse setting - Boston University. It was hard to return home. There was no good Chinese food, people were oblivious to some my new interests. They seemed to move around and think slower. My unique education had again led to segregation.
Now I'm fully immersed in a foreign culture. I've learned so much here to the point where I don't really feel like an American anymore. At the same time, I'm not a Chinese or Taiwanese. I'm not unlike an orphan. It's not that I wouldn't be welcome back in the US, or not that I'm not welcome in Taiwan, but my education of both cultures has brought me to a new level of isolation.
It's always been my personal belief that one should choose an unhappy truth over an ignorant bliss. I may be less happy, in some ways, but I'm certainly more satisfied living this way.
Conversely education, some of the things I value learning most in my life, have led to isolation from my peers.
The first time I had this experience was after I decided to become a runner. I put more energy and passion into running than I saw anyone else put in towards their endeavors. What it taught me was the values of hard work and long term commitment: the meaning of living for the purpose of achieving your goal. I made it my life for over four years. I also failed; I lost races I should have won. I know what it feels like to work for four years, pouring you heart and soul into something, and then fail. I also know how to stand back up and win the next time around.
Conversely I would see other runners. Perhaps they would set a goal halfway through one season, and after a month of focusing on this goal, with wavering ambition, fail. They'd be heartbroken. Are you kidding me? After putting in so little effort, how can you be so emotional? If your goals meant so much to you then you should have worked harder.
In the end I was left with a strong sense of dedication and ambition. The majority of people lack this much resolve, and so I am left, even to this day, feeling a bit segregated from them, as if they can't really understand or fully appreciate these values.
Going to college furthered my education and thus my isolation. Not only did I learn about the technical world of mechanical engineering, but I was exposed to city life in a bright and culturally diverse setting - Boston University. It was hard to return home. There was no good Chinese food, people were oblivious to some my new interests. They seemed to move around and think slower. My unique education had again led to segregation.
Now I'm fully immersed in a foreign culture. I've learned so much here to the point where I don't really feel like an American anymore. At the same time, I'm not a Chinese or Taiwanese. I'm not unlike an orphan. It's not that I wouldn't be welcome back in the US, or not that I'm not welcome in Taiwan, but my education of both cultures has brought me to a new level of isolation.
It's always been my personal belief that one should choose an unhappy truth over an ignorant bliss. I may be less happy, in some ways, but I'm certainly more satisfied living this way.
2009年11月10日 星期二
小虎燕 - Small Tiger Sparrow Form
Here is a video of me performing the small tiger form. This was back in October so I am late in getting it up. You can tell the form still needs some cleaning up but it's nothing I'm embarrassed about.
2009年11月8日 星期日
Announcement
I've made an official decision to run the Taipei Marathon. I'm going to be living in Taiwan for a year, as a former runner it would not be right to neglect this opportunity. I'll also have to soon stop referring to myself as a "former" runner.
Me running the Northeast Regionals for BU (the only Varsity Cross Race I ran) 10k through Van Cortland State Park in about 34:08
I've enjoyed two Kung Fu performances (for some mediocre pictures and videos please check my picasa account - link of the left) so far so it is time for me to train my body in a different way for a little while. That's not to say I will not be studying Kung Fu in the park anymore, it's just to say that while I do this my legs will pretty much be spent and it just won't be my primary focus for a short time.
The date is December 20. Given my current fitness level this should be enough time. For sure I have more time to devote to training than when I ran the Boston Marathon in 2003. That being said I intend to beat my time.
The Gauntlet has been thrown, now to work through the Chinese registration website.
2009年11月4日 星期三
Life’s about the Journey
Life is about the Journey. I was a runner. I won several high school races including some big invitationals and even our sectional championship. I set my high school track record for the 3.2km (2 mile). As a freshmen and sophomore I was not only the track team’s lead distance runner but also our number one Tennis player.
I feel sorry for someone who lists their high school accomplishments out like this and speaks with a great deal of pride. This short list of sports victories has little meaning. But my time in high school was not a waste, I can tell you what did have meaning: an intense and diligent training schedule that lasted the entire four years of high school, running 45 weeks out of the year, waking up at 5 am to run through the cold rain and snow, running through windy snowstorms, running down unknown trails, running on my own, desperately working to bring a greater sense of meaning to my life. This is what meant something. I’m not that tall and only have so much natural talent so I had to work that much harder to win those races. Winning those races, creating that list above meant I had to struggle through the training. The struggle that created the list, that is what has meaning.
Winning those races was nothing more than superficial compared to the training, but it also gave the training direction and a purpose. Without the goals I set for myself I would not have had any need for the training. Life is about the journey, but a worthwhile journey requires a worthwhile goal.
Fast-forward to today and the time I am spending in Taiwan. I have a very real and meaningful goal: the pursuit of fluency in Mandarin and to study as much modern culture as I can. These goals are leading me on a new journey. I am meeting friends and getting thrown into awkward situations. I am able to view this culture and the world in a new way.
In contrast with most of the other foreigners I meet, my goals are very different. Typically their reason for leaving their own country is an escape. Life wasn’t great back in their respective country, family troubles, girl problems, and crappy jobs without a clear or bright future... so they came to Taiwan for a change. They have come here for an escape.
Escape is an end. Escape is the goal. Once you have arrived in the foreign country you have already satisfied your goal. They no longer have an objective; they no longer have a direction or a compass. Instead they are left drifting; they are controlled by the external forces that they encounter.
Typically these people don’t learn the language, not past the most basic and childish level. They are exposed to only one side of the culture and are never actually able to immerse themselves to a point learning. They end up forming a community with other foreigners and isolate themselves. Their interaction with the locals is limited to English speakers. They are severely limited. Most men end up indulging in women and never really accomplishing anything significant. The journey that is their life has no depth; they are just being guided by the waves that are their most basic desires.
By resisting the superficial pleasures I’ve been able to develop a lot of real friendships with a variety of people. I meet very few people my own age but through my job (teaching English) I’m able to study how children behave and grow up in modern Taiwan. I get to study Taiwanese parenting culture.
By studying Shaolin Kung Fu I’m able to associate with the older generation. The only way this is even possible is with my Chinese since they can’t speak English. My interaction with them grants me a view into a piece of Taiwan that very few foreigners would have a chance to experience. I am daily acquiring invaluable knowledge, knowledge much more valuable than the superficial fun and games that most foreigners enjoy.
Life is about the journey, no, life is a journey. If your journey lacks a goal then it lacks direction. You are as good as a person drifting in a small boat out at sea with no paddle. A goal, a compass, a direction – this is your oar. You don’t necessarily have to reach your goal, but you now have the ability to take control of your life for yourself, you have the ability to add meaning to your life and truly live well. The meaning of life is to live.
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